Last Thursday on the 2 AM Circle, I talked with Roy George, CMB, President of MOR Lending, a national mortgage company. Roy found me on LinkedIn six or seven years ago while working on his resume, and we have supported each other ever since without ever being in the same room. He spends August through October on the road at conferences and stays in touch with people across 19 different platforms, so he had plenty to say about relationships that last.
Here is what I took away.
1. Technology can start a relationship, and showing up in both worlds keeps it going.
Roy and I are proof that a screen is not a barrier. His point is that you can’t be one person online and a different person in a room. Marry the two, and be the same person in every format.
2. It’s not who you know. It’s who knows you.
Roy has heard “it’s who you know” his whole career. His twist is that he met Emmitt Smith years ago, but that doesn’t mean Emmitt Smith takes his call tomorrow. What matters is who remembers you. Ask yourself who in your network would recognize your name today, and what you have done lately to stay on their radar.
3. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
As a boy, Roy competed in speech contests against kids much older than he was. At 11, he won first place in a county high school contest, up against seniors, reciting the Gettysburg Address dressed as Abraham Lincoln. His advice is that if something will help your career and you dread it, do it anyway. Go home and cry about it if you have to, then do it again next week until you don’t.
4. Maintenance beats memory.
Roy makes five to ten phone calls every day, working alphabetically through a contact list he says holds roughly 12,000 people. Every morning he also sends birthday messages, anniversary wishes, and congratulations, so he shows up in people’s lives in small ways all the time. And when it has been too long? This summer I texted a friend I had not talked to in two years and simply said I was sorry I let it go that long. She wrote back almost instantly that it was on her as much as on me. Roy and I agree that sometimes you just fall on your sword.
5. Give first, and protect your energy.
Roy offers help before he ever asks for anything, which is why people tell him, “Roy, if you ever need me, call.” My two favorite networking questions are how I can help and who else I should know. He also keeps people who only complain at a lower frequency, sometimes once or twice a year. My dad used to say that problems without proposed solutions are complaints, and Roy and I both live by that.
Watch the full conversation with Roy here
Coming Thursday, October 29: Tammi Ramsey
Next on the 2 AM Circle is the incredible Tammi Ramsey an executive recruiter and lifetime connector of people. She is also a winemaker with her own label, TJR Select, a former contestant on PBS’ The Winemakers, and the co-author of two books, one on interviewing and one on hiring and retaining talent.
Here is a taste of what she shares:
- A ten-minute exercise anyone can do: write down ten people you admire, note two or three things you value about each, and send a text. Her example is a message that says, “I miss you bringing in donuts every Friday.”
- Two hours blocked on her calendar every Friday morning to reach out to fifty people.
- A thirty-second text once a quarter, built around something that matters to that person, whether it’s a rivalry game or the latest tractor.
- Why she thinks of recruiting as a giant jigsaw puzzle.
- How an email to her entire contact list helped a video find the views it needed to land her a spot on a TV show.
- How 41 dates in 65 days, none of them about finding a partner, left her with friends she still vacations with
Follow the 2 AM Circle on YouTube or wherever you listen so the full episode lands in your feed Thursday. You can find everything at 2amcircle.co.
The book behind the podcast
The 2 AM Circle grew out of my chapter, “The Posse,” in Emergent Power: Midlife Women Redefining Love, Health, & Work. Readers keep telling me one of two things: they have a posse of their own and treasure it, or they wish they did, so I created the 2 AM Circle podcast to help others build strong relationships.
Ever wanted to be an author?
So many of you have asked me what it is like to write a book. I have published two bestsellers with Sulit Press and had a wonderful experience, and they have just opened the doors to their 2027 multi-author books: Inside Voices: On the Stories We Inherit, Believe, and Rewrite and Quench: On Wanting More and Finding Enough. Both bring together women with powerful stories to share, and maybe one of those women is you.
On Tuesday, Michelle Savage hosted a free live info session where she walked through the Sulit Press experience, shared more about each book, explained how they help authors write, publish, and leverage their stories, and answered questions. If you missed it, please schedule a call with her.
If you know a woman with a story worth sharing, please forward this to her.
